Floating Felt

by Ayla Nereo

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    In technicolor! The earlier album of Ayla's, written and recorded between 2006-2009

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04:06
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05:26
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04:12
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05:08
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03:26
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06:13
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about

Recorded by Ayla in Windsor, Oakland, and Shasta, CA.

credits

released February 4, 2009

Such deep thanks, to all who helped in creating this album. Davyd Nereo, dear brother and incredible recording engineer. Eric Eisher for helping create the rainbows in the album cover. Daniel Fleischer for drumming on tracks 1, 5, and 8. Kai and Chris for adding flute and banjos to track 8! And Daniel Steinbock for endless support and whole-heart giving in the creative process of this entire album.

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Track Name: Ballad in Fatigue
Daniel's got it, William's got it, I have got fatigue, fatigue
Daniel ran and William swam and I was gaining speed and speed
Daniel rests and Will's upset and I'm scribbling in my seat, my seat
Daniel's eyes were William's cries and I was standing by and by
A wish to help a doubt to sigh and still just standing by and by
A hope to serve a love to cry and stand I will, the passerby

But timid me turn back the street, I'm back to where I started, started
Once as a mouse, once as a martyr, once as a warrior falling, falling
Timid me, turn back the street, I'm back to where I started, started
Felt as a stone, dragging under, felt as lightning (strike me harder!)
Felt as water, thought as a windstorm, wished as a lesson, learning, learning
Thought as a cup, known as a hand, and stumble again to find my footing...

Now I wait, and patiently, in separating
Now I wait, and wishfully, unhesitating
Now, I wait, to watch for you, unflinchingly
Now I watch, to speak to you, and doubtlessly
Now my voice, is listening, unceasingly
Now my choice for listening

But I cannot capture you, sometimes I do not want to
Sometimes it's far too heavy load, but still I'll go, I'll go, I'll go
Sometimes it's far too heavy load, but still I'll go, I'll go, I'll go...

And how could I stand down when mountains tower over me?
How could my pride stand stronger than a glacier
melt into the stream and waterfall over
my life has been given so how could I take it as mine
is the breath, is the air, could I possibly want to fill up
with the smoke, with an engine that putters and dies,
when the weed is still pushing up mountains of dirt,
tower over remind me please
How could I stand down when mountains tower over me
How could my pride stand stronger than a glacier
melt into the stream and waterfall over
my life has been given so how now, remind me again...
Track Name: Lily Moon
Lily Moon I see your face I sit inside without a trace, trail behind and ride your wake, and lily white yet blushing crimson in the night, will you be leaving with the light? And creeping over with the shadows at my side, the moonlight yields the sigh – I step and turn while you stick feathers in my back – this flying lesson leaves a track, winding to the hills and lit with shoulders burning fire feather quills, the darkness burns away, the darkness burns away… Lily Moon I see your face inside these eyes my own will trace, yet suddenly erased, such lily white did spread it's arms out to the night, these arms did clasp and sigh, for just as in a dream, awoken inside to streets before unseen, "I thank you for these eyes," then faded from my sight… (then you faded from my sight, darkness burns into my eyes)… and half asleep I did try, try to hold piercing grass, but it was grey, it was grey, oh – log perched on high and knotted into sight, but it was grey, it was grey, oh, it was grey – but memory, save my sight! memory, came back to me, and I saw: twisted trunk, scattered mold, black and speckled spotted stone, hailing in with the cold wind whistle past and oh! dancing green pieced between wall of streets of ancient oak, made of water quilt below, grown of lightning , breath, and bone… Lily Moon I see you face I sit inside without a trace, trail behind and ride your wake, and lily white yet blushing crimson in the light, will I be leaving at your side?
Track Name: Mama
Move alone, move alone, my sweet darling do not cry – Mama dear, I can't hear, your heartbeat faint and to me near – Little child, little child, lay your body close to me – Mama sweet, where we meet, is warm as womb is comforting – Daughter mine, lay in'twined, and listen close to how I speak… I am rushing wood, woodrush rivering, I am body, bone, and dust to wind, storm of sea, wave unraveling – where the raven flies I will lie, floating wavering and gracefully crashing the sand into mountains… Ant upon my chest you will run, you will rest, you will pile up your pillars made of me who blows them down – can you fathom deep that unseen, can you trust in this the fruits I yield, I yield to you to shape them… How to shape… how… How to shape... how… Child lay your body, listen deep, there's a heartbeat in the step that you take, that you choose, that you listen to – suit your self with skin, scurry quickly toward the undertow and over it all is a blanket of breathing – Catch upon your tongue, pawn the speaking for the turning of the inner ear to silence and the rising of the tone in bells of pebbled wind and the sigh of the stillness of the pond you float upon, as a cloud to the rainstorm – Sun to me is mother is to you, I was made to grow these blowing and receding gusts of wind and lust and wave , and only if I'm trampled bare and cold, will my arms cease to hold you, only when I cease to be, only if I cease…
Track Name: Wheel, Heron, White
Wooden shield so lovely fine, carved with hearts and covered in twine, covers the sound of weary sigh, escapes from blanket hollow white… and lifting off the heavy night, as widest sky and bear outside, though neither can hear the other one cry, same they stand in parted longing lives. And in the light of morn and moon, the shielded lady sets her loom, to weave her sorrow into tapestry new, to sing and soothe and spin it true – and she spins it true, alone in the room… “Oh wooden wheel, with painting peeled, a splintered lady, carving arms this wood shall wield
turning sigh, this wheel a shield.” And her tears became strands of gold into lakes and rivers wove, and her words fell white and black , threaded into mountain tracks – and her voice so pure and clear became the pattern of the air, became the voice of air so clear ,as she sung it there, as she sung it there… “Wooden lady, flesh of white, arms grow strong yet as air still light, and feathers of softest downy might will awake one day able to fly – with feathers of softest downy might a heron goes soaring, heron, white…” Then, in the light of morn and moon, the shielded lady stands from her loom, her sorrow she leaves in tapestry new, her sorrow she wove, and away it flew. And from her window, a child sees true while cycling wheel carries and moves – to her window remains his eyes, as cycling wheel carries him by – to her window remains his eyes, at the heron soaring, heron, white.
Track Name: Seven Arrows
Seven Arrows right by me flew, and flew by the silent girl they did, too – seven sorrows on page she drew, and they too, they flew… started young, and soaring wise, past two boots for every warrior cry, there she blows, and there she lies, and whispers, "tumble away, tumble me to your side…" I was waiting there, by the side of the stair, I was watching you, you shot me through and through your eyes I replied, I replied… I won't go! I won't fear! I will go. I will hear that voice, that voice, that One, that One… Listen! Listen… oh! Seven arrows right by me flew, I caught a hold and I did follow through – seven sorrows on page I drew, and they too, they flew with you
Track Name: Harriet
Harriet oh Harriet, the stars are falling upon your page in ink and stone – oh Harriet, the stones are broken to sand that cloaks the sleep that 'cumbers your weary load – but there, there were seen such painted sides of page, behind the shapes the colors will erase, so quick your hand to scrawl the shapes in place – but there were seen such painted sides of page, beneath the hand did whiten and erase – and suddenly the black and scattered lines did fall away – the shade of pen and stone did deeply sink into refrain – the chorusing of colors burst as from a page, as lightning in the rain - and as though in dream she whispered soft and felt them seen… but there were seen such painted sides of page, behind the shape and shade the form will lay… so Harriet, Harriet the stars are falling upon your page in ink and stone – oh Harriet, the stones will break and sand will fall away…
Track Name: Conversation / Between
Hers was a long, was a long way to go -- mine was beside her, was behind, was alone -- ours was as cyclone, was as wind to the bone -- ours was a teardrop, falling deep, and deeply known -- falling slow, and slowly shown, falling swift, and swiftly blown, blown below our covered home, our covered bodies… Shed me to teardrop, I will lead, I will bend, I will be your body, I will turn, I will tend, I will lend my silence, my hands, my how, to be known as your cover, I will seek, I will leap, I will bow… Thank you sweet, I can hear you now, you can hear me, now, listen deep – Thank you deep, you can hear me now, I can hear you, now listen sweet… Mine was a cavern, was a crease beside the road, filled up with fossils, as a walker to his load, filled with a river, dried with a moan, while Hers was as thunder, was as light, was as will, was as throat…. Words I fly, Breath as tide, Words to be, Loved as child… And the Great was not yet shared, but approaching them in pairs, in a whistle thought and felt, in a lightning to the heart, "to each you are a part…" Taken to the heart, the heart a spiral to the sharp, and sharper still the quill return, re-turning out and upwards shrill and blinding, out my eyes, remind, re-mind me, out my soul, resound, re-sound me, this the ground, the shape is sensing, this the whole, the part is making… Thank you sweet, I can hear you now, you can hear me now listen deep… Thank you deep, you can hear me now, I can hear you , I can hear you now
Track Name: Fool's Gift
Burn fall away as a leaf into the sound – turn fall away as a note into the ground – burn fall away as it's roaring all around – the lion will play with the turning of the dawn… "But don't be made a fool of me, there's time enough for everyone," they whispered it as jokery, but took it as a wisdom song – and I did not quite know them, though they said they were the friendly ones, and I couldn't place their faces, but I saw them just the same… "Where do you come from?" I called with all my might, and turned, falling 'way all the blinders to my sight – they met me halfway and they took me in their arms saying, "don't be afraid, we've come to take you just this far…" And don't be made a fool of me, there's time enough to go around, they whisper it so suddenly, but give it as it goes along – and I do not quite know them, though I see they are the friendly ones, and I cannot place their faces, but I hear them just the same… burn fall away as a note into the ground – burn fall away as a leaf into the sound – burn fall away as it's roaring all around – "Where do you come from and can I come with you?" The roar breaks the day and the questions come in two's – do the bidding out if the bidding you can sift – and don't be giving up if you've got giving as your gift… but don't be made a fool of me, there's time enough to go around, they whisper it so suddenly, but give it as it goes along – and I do not quite know them, though I see they are the friendly ones, and I cannot place their faces, and I hear them just the same…
Track Name: In the dark, in the dawn
Is it so strange that I'd misspell your name, when I know you so well, only known you since yesterday – this is the way that we'll open these shells, and you opened it well, in the dark, in the dawn… How did I fall into habits of talk, when all that I want is the touch of your silence – you made up this game, I made up this face, and you took it all in, to your eyes in the morning… all of us, all of us, we became the walls, and we broke ourselves down… I fell in love with you for one afternoon….Can I fall in love with you for this afternoon… Is it so strange that we'd come to this place with questions in hand, and not fear the shaking – you asked me my name, I said yours instead, for there was nothing between, and we saw we were same… All of us! We become the walls, and we break ourselves down… this wall has come down, there's nothing to keep us, nothing to keep… wall coming down, made of nothing
Track Name: The Times
Here's Time, and here is the end, it's a fable of old, it's a way to pretend – in passing will we make amends, when we turn out the lights are we taking a stand – run on like the hand spinning round like we're painting the picture without ay clouds – shape up till we're coiled and confused and we've used all our whims till the ground is abused – cause now without time is as wing to the goose, and time without now is as neck to the noose, and we've stepped from the rhythm to follow the ruse… I go willing to walk alone – I go with you and on my own – I know nothing you have not shown me, now… Turn on like a wind to the flame if you're waving your hand will the current change – back up till you're facing the door, does it make any sense, are we safe a sure – turn tempo and change the key, when you hear the sound you can make the speech – look outward, and step inside, there's a learning to know and a will to be wise… there's a love to grow and a now to be pried from the hands of those who are handling time, from the need's below and the should's outside, we're stepping away to a different stride – together in rhythm, brothers in rhyme… I know nothing you have not shown me – I show nothing you have not grown – we grow rooted, rooted to the unknown below… to the unknown we go… here's time, and here is the mend, when we turn on the lights, when we join up in hands – look there to the one at your side, each is a teacher, each is wise – look out 'cross the farthest sea, can you hear your brother as he makes his peace – here's listening, and here is the speech: "there's a learning to know, and a living to free…" Cause now without time is as whale to the sea, and time without now is as ice to the heat – now without time is as wave to the sea, and we've stepped from the rhythm to follow our feet – we've stepped from the rhythm to follow our shoes – we've stepped from the rhythm to follow the ruse – we can step to the rhythm if that's what we choose… together in rhythm, brothers in rhyme, together in rhythm if that's in our minds
Track Name: The salmon swims upstream to get back home
Here, in the orange, in the orange room – here, in the wood-slatted underfoot, under sky, and I sleep, and I breathe, and I brush in feathers what I wish to become, come over here – and here, in the orange, in the blue-colored boxes – shapes fall away, become double-decker yellow green and grey tetrahedron, break tethered meter between, and you break on your pillow as you break down the shapes of yourself, of your faces, disentangle voices from the spool of a loom, pull apart all the voi-voi-voices, pull apart my heart, my heart, my hearing comes from the blue, from the orange boxes… and there, in the padded place where I fell into, when I first dropped in, I fell into you there – little padding heard all my tested cries, testing out, caught in the shadows, door is cracked, and I'm blinded by the opening step, as it falls into the new… here, in the orange, in the salmon space of boxes, deep are the walls, and made of paper-mache – drowned is the shape, is the hope of what could be deep in the light, thick as the nest to which I disentangle, holding to a candle that you hold, too – and I'll hold into you… and there, in the padded place where I fell into, when I first dropped in, I fell into you there – little padding heard all my tested cries, testing out, caught in the shadows, door cracked, and I'm blinded by the opening step, as it falls into the new… here in the speak, speakin' house, speak, speak it out, you taught me well, you taught me to tell my heart from the loom, from the thoughts of what you'd do, and I do, and I do here, in the speak, speak it out… you taught me well…
Track Name: No Opposition (Floating Felt)
I need to go where the forces do not pull me – choices split as though only two were in ruling – darkness to light, matter faced with meaning – it matters not, but for how is this choosing – it matters not, but for how freely moving to the dance of this, of here, of now I can untie my tension – dance of this, of here, of now I leave this hesitation – dance a little while, though it tears you from your sleep, you cannot eat or think or beat your heart – cannot beat your heart to give of itself… I need to be where I stand in this instant – I need to see of my form the ideal to which I hold up a candle, bit by bit, bit by inch by wink, to learn who I can be, to be better, to be good… to be harmless in my truth (to be better, to be good) and to see you as I could (to be better, to be good) and to see you as the beauty (to be better, to be good) and to see you as the beauty of the dance of this, of here, of now I am no opposition... Flame, touches water, pulling steam, pulling steam, as the flame touches water, pushing steam, pushing clean, pushing clean, as the flame touches water…. now I can untie my tension – now I leave this hesitation – shouldered in precipitation – leaving me in condensation – trying out in exhalation – pain become purification – joy become illumination – now I am no opposition
Track Name: Rainfalling Throat
Will I know, gotcha 'fore you go… will I know, grab a tighter hold … loosen up the coil… let it all unfold… be before I grow… talkin' of what's told… warming up what's cold… braving up what's bold… freeing up what's sold… lighting up the home… nothing as alone… peace behind the storm… every piece unturned… space behind the word… sound behind what's heard… will I know…